Ooh ooh that smell!

I am a cat person by nature. I grew up with cats from as far back as I can remember. I’ve never really liked dogs per se. They slobber and smell.
But sure enough I married into a family of dog lovers. Back when hubby and I were only dating he decided he should get a dog from the pound. He took me along and together we selected a dog, Paxton, a giant blend of pit bull, great Dane, and who knows what else.
Seeing beyond the fleas and coarse, constantly shedding hair, I have slowly grown to love this sweet little guy. He’s extremely well behaved, he’s not very needy in comparison to other dogs, and he is large and helps me feel protected here in Durham.
There is a catch though. Paxton the dog can really let one rip. Since day one he has been a farter. When people smell a Paxton fart their first question is, “What are you feeding him?” Paxton is one of the few dogs I know that isn’t allowed people food. He only eats dog food. A cup and a half twice daily. So that’s not the source of the farts.
His farts are often SBDs (silent but deadlies) and have the ability to creep up on you. Hubby and I, or sometimes an unfortunate houseguest, will just be sitting on the couch minding our own business when out of nowhere comes this stench. It smells like a rotting bedpan that someone set on fire. This stench rudely smacks you in the face. You can almost feel the warmth of it. I always say it’s so putrid it probably stains the air. You can attempt to cover your nose with a blanket or a pillow, anything close by really. But nothing helps. The smell soaks right through solid surfaces. It reaches out and chokes you.
Sometimes Paxton lets out an audible one, but just barely audible. It sounds much like a puff of smoke. But those are even worse because then you often start sniffing, in search of the smell to make sure you heard right. And there it is, horrible in every way. Stinging in its rancid filth.
We often look over at Paxton, expecting an apology from him. Usually he doesn’t even notice he’s done it. His face, completely devoid of emotion, peeking up at us innocently. How can he not notice that smell?! He’s a dog for crying out loud. Their noses lead them. Where is the guilt, Paxton? He should at least take responsibility for it. The rest of us have to.