Sweet dreams

Because I have a habit of waking up throughout the night, mostly because of my pets making noise, I have always been someone who easily remembers my dreams (experts say often when you wake during the night it is right after a period of REM sleep and therefore, most likely, right after a dream). I used to tell my family my dreams at length, boring them to no end. My mother reminds me of this almost every time I see her. My apologies.
Remembering dreams can be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because often they are very funny or fantastical and they make me laugh. A curse because the recurring ones are a little freaky.
I constantly dream of being on vacation somewhere absolutely breathtaking; somewhere with cool blue waters and an exotic landscape. In those dreams I am usually late to board a plane or a boat though. Sometimes I’m left behind by all my family and friends.
The worst of the recurring dreams is the one where I’m an accomplice to a murder. The murderer and I are on the run, trying to hide the body and avoid the police. Usually the cause of death is accidental. Maybe we ran over the victim with our car. Oops.
Every time I wake up from these dreams I am exhausted and beyond relieved to find out that I haven’t really committed a crime.
My dear friend Misty, who knows of my fascination with dreams, once gave me a $5 dream book. She declared the book a piece of crap as she handed it over to me, almost apologetically. Perhaps all dream books are crap. More so than that, they are pure speculation.
I open the book and look up the word vacation. Not in the book. Okay, how about the word cruise ship? Not in there. How about the word boat?
Bingo! “Boat signals forecast bright prospects, if upon clear water.”
How about the word water?
“To dream of clear water, foretells that you will joyfully realize prosperity and pleasure.”
How excellent!
I then look up the word murder.
“If you commit murder, it signifies that you are engaging in some dishonorable adventure, which will leave a stigma upon your name.”
I look up the word criminal.
“To dream of associating with a person who had committed a crime, denotes that you will be harassed with unscrupulous persons, who will try to use your friendship for their own advancement.”
Great. These descriptions drive me crazy. Am I supposed to now figure out in which “dishonorable adventure” I am partaking and which of my friends are unscrupulous? What fun would that be?
These answers are about as helpful as a fortune cookie: “You are wise.” “Stop and smell the roses.” “Be thankful for friends.” Be especially thankful for friends who give you bad dream books. Or at least friends willing to listen to your bad dreams…