Yoga-ahhhhh

A friend lent me a Yoga for Pregnancy workout video about a month ago. I FINALLY cracked it open this past weekend, fully expecting the worst. I haven’t done yoga in months and was dreading the stretching out of unused muscles. As it turns out, yoga for pregnant women is very easy. We are more pliable than usual; maybe because of the widening of hips in preparation for childbirth...I’m not really sure.
The yoga video was not so much physically challenging, but was more mentally painful. You see, most yoga instructors are very earthy. They speak with hushed tones as if they are attempting to lull you to sleep. They talk constantly about being one with our heart centers and with the earth. It can be wonderfully relaxing and at the same time very obnoxious.
Within the first 2 minutes of pushing play on the video, I knew that the yoga instructor and I were not going to get along. I had made up my mind. Let’s start with her name, Shiva. It’s the name of a Hindu God. I mean, I already knew she was into yoga. Her name didn’t have to be defined by the exercise as well.
Shiva began the workout with a series of inhalations and exhalations, only she mispronounced the word ‘exhale’ throughout the entire video. Instead of ex-hale, she said it eck-sail. Exhale is a word that is used often in practicing yoga. I’ll estimate we use it about every 10 seconds. That makes for a lot of ‘eck-sails’ within an hour-long workout video.
Then there was the wardrobe issue. Each of the three pregnant yoga ladies on the video was wearing a pant-suit unitard in solid colors of burgundy, eggplant, and hunter green. Shiva the instructor wasn’t actually pregnant during filming. She had been pregnant before and was now SUPER skinny. No 9-months pregnant woman wants to see a SUPER skinny athlete in spandex. The other two ladies were very pregnant. So that’s why I can’t understand how the producers got them to agree to wear the unitards. Spandex and I currently aren’t getting along.
Can I end by saying that the other two ladies’ names were Poppy and Britta. There were no Rachel’s, Elizabeth’s, or Heather’s. I was in the company of Shiva, Poppy, and Britta. And of course my ever-supportive hubby, sitting in the background laughing his as$ off.