Soft around the middle

Yesterday evening I looked down and noticed my belly bulging out so far that I was convinced I might be pregnant. Though nearly an impossible feat, due to diligent taking of my birth control pill, I still was convinced that one had “slipped through the cracks” and that I was nearing my second trimester of pregnancy. What else could explain the recent growth of my ginormous gut?
Then it came to me – back when I was pregnant, at my final doctor’s appointment before giving birth, I asked the doctor when I could begin eating sugar again. This was an important question, because I had been denied much sugar during my pregnant months due to a diagnosis of gestational diabetes.
The doctor’s welcome response was, “Melanie, you can eat whatever you like just as soon as this baby comes out. Think of it as a honeymoon. Enjoy!”
I followed the doctor’s strict orders and honeymooned to my heart’s content, eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted since the day Caleb was born, and folks, it has caught up with me.

Because, it’s official, I’m not pregnant.

The Clearblue digital pregnancy test I bought this afternoon confirmed it. Yes friends, that’s how much I believed I was pregnant. I went to Target and purchased not one, but two pregnancy tests.

I'm so ridiculous for even considering that my growing belly had nothing to do with the number of calories I've been consuming. I realize now that I'm guilty. Here's what the tests should have read...

Well, so long. I’ve got to go eat my nightly cup of mint chocolate chip ice cream.